Damn You, Step Class

No, I’m not talking about the dance style.  Stop giving me that look.  We’ve got a gym at work, and we’re allowed to use our thirty minutes of lunch break to work out.  I know, awesome, right?  And they’ve got various classes that they offer, one of them being step (it’s the only one I’ll attend.  I’ve sworn off the class they call “yoga”).  So anyway, the music they put on for the class is, rather predictably, aerobified versions of popular songs.

I’ll have you know, I led a perfectly normal and happy life back before I ever knew who “Iyaz” was, let alone that Shawnee is a melody.  Now, of course the CD didn’t stop between songs to announce the name of the artist.  No.  That would be silly.

I know who Iyaz is because I heard that bloody song so many times that it got stuck in my head and I was forced to google for songs which contained the lyrics “write you a symphony”, because those were just about the only intelligible words I could pick out from the horribly skipping record that is my brain.

Even worse than that, though, was when “do do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do doo” burrowed into my brain.  Have you ever tried to google for songs based solely on do’s?  It’s enough to drive even the most well-adjusted person to frelling insanity, and I was already unhinged from the forced occupation of my mind by pop tunes.  Eventually, as I tried to drift off to sleep with the maniac melody circling, circling, I managed to push it far enough backward that I was able to cull a few lyrics.

It was “Funhouse”, by the artist apparently known as P!nk.  On the plus side, I had a fun time singing about evil clowns as I washed the dishes.

That’s more than I can say about Shawnee.

Anyway, you know what’s almost more awful than that?  Once I finally ID the song that has been illegally squatting on my auditory nerves, I realize that the original version sounds like a pale imitation of the aerobified one.  That’s right.  I track down the song that, apparently, some part of me likes enough to listen to on repeat, and find out that only the step class version will do.  I can’t even buy to and listen to it enough times to desensitize myself to these siren songs.

In that case, I’ll just have to listen to Nephew on repeat until they forcibly evict these uninvited residents.


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