50 Shades of Wish Fulfillment

I’m confused about the success of 50 Shades of Grey, but probably not for the reason most everyone else is.

50 Shades of Grey began life as Twilight fanfiction.  As it stood, Twilight already read like poorly-constructed FF—no self-respecting FF author would establish her ship within the first couple chapters and then wait 400,000 words to get to the sex.  50SoG totally fixed that problem, which is probably what launched it to such heights of popularity.

Anyway.

As someone who has read a fair bit of FF, I grok why people read and write it.  They’re doing it to scratch an itch that the original work didn’t reach.  Maybe the original work was too short, so they want more adventures.  The ending was unsatisfactory, so they want to fix it.  Their favorite minor characters didn’t get enough love.  Their ship isn’t canon.  Their ship is canon, but there’s not enough sex.  Their ship is canon, but there’s not enough conversations about emotions and childhood trauma.  There’s a scene implied in the original work, and they want to see it.  They have an idea about worldbuilding, and they want to try it out.  They have an idea about character arcs, and they want to try it out.  They want to be in the story.  They want their favorite characters from two different works to meet.  They want to fix tragedies.  They want to cause tragedies, then fix them.  (Maybe.)

They want a threesome with tendril sex.

Whatever.  It comes down to itches, and to back-scratches.

(I know there are other metaphors, hurr hurr, but I’m sticking to this one.)

The popular FF works are scratching itches the best, and the most.  50SoG, in its first iteration, was apparently so successful that there was a market for it even with the serial numbers filed off.  It gets at the deep ones that a lot of people might not even know they have (and would certainly not be able to articulate if they did).

I’m not confused about how 50SoG could be so successful.

I’m surprised that people pay money for it when they could have as many itches scratched as they could possibly want.

For free.

On the internet.

It’s called fanfiction.

 

Anime

I need a master list to keep track.

Weird & Unsettling

Ghost Hound (ending was bizarrely Happily Ever After, though)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (“So if you ever feel like dying for the sake of the universe, please call me anytime.”)

Stupid & Boring

Skip Beat

Bizarre & Hilarious

Gintama

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Ouran High School Host Club

Slow & Thoughtful

Mushishi

Kino no Tabi

House of Five Leaves (though I thought a lot of the characters looked the same, and I couldn’t distinguish the flashbacks from the scenes set in the “present”)

Good

Fullmetal Alchemist

Darker than Black

xxxHolic

Almost, But Not Quite

Gun x Sword

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

My reaction: It’s Lestrade!  With a knife!

Amy and Rory were good in this one.  I liked their competence.  Too often the high companion turnover means they’re never around long enough to find their feet (as much as they can ever be found, when traveling with the Doctor).  To emphasize their awesomeness, the writers dragged some novice companions along for the ride to be injured and confused in the Ponds’ stead.

This isn’t really related, but I like to imagine that Nefertiti gave herself to the antique hunter because she was planning on luring him into a false sense of security, pushing him out an airlock, then stealing his ship.

Also, I want to read a one-shot or drabble about all the little (and big) ways Amy and Rory alter their lives so that they are always ready for when the Doctor shows up.

And finally, why is the Doctor friends with a big game hunter?  The only thing that guy has to recommend himself is his affinity for using large guns to shoot larger creatures.  This doesn’t seem like the sort of person the Doctor would usually get along with.  I want to see a one-shot explaining how they got so chummy.

The Asylum of the Daleks

 

I was really nervous.  After the clusterfuck that was “The Wedding of River Song”, I wasn’t sure I could take any more pain and insanity.

 

But actually…it wasn’t that bad.  The “I kicked you out ‘cause I can’t have kids” thing was indescribably stupid, though.  Like, really really really.  Cubed.  Haven’t you heard of surrogates?  Adoption?  Hell, I’m sure there’s at least one point IN ALL OF TIME AND SPACE where you could grow yourself a new set of reproductive organs.  Or use a uterine replicator.  Talk to the Doctor.  He’ll hook you up.

 

So, really stupid, y’all.

 

Also, the Predator of the Daleks?  I’m really hoping this wasn’t just a throwaway title.  There needs to be some explanation, here, because as it stands it makes no sense whatsoever.

 

Daleks believe they are better than everyone else, right?  They believe they are the ultimate predator.  Calling a non-Dalek the Predator of the Daleks means raising him above them in the food chain.  In the very least, that seems like it’d be bad for morale.

 

The only way this would work (that I can think of) would be if they revere him.  That he’s such a good predator—he’s killed so many Daleks—his proficiency (and hate?) is something to emulate.  To…respect, in their own twisted way.

 

However, if this is true, then they should have feared him enough that they wouldn’t want anything to do with him.  A few of them would gladly have taken on a suicide mission to the asylum if the only other option was to bring the Doctor onto their very command ship.  That would be asking for disaster.

 

Snicker.

 

So on one hand, this is Moffat.  Say one thing for Moffat, say he’s got story arcs.  On the other hand, the Doctor was just erased from the Dalek pseudo-hivemind.  (However, based on something that happens in the next episode I suspect that this also might be an arc.)

Conclusion?

Goddamn it, Moffat.  Why’d you have to make Amy such an idiot?  I think a piece of your brain must be missing.  Why has no one brought this to your attention?

Book Reviews, June 2012

The Pride of Chanur, by C. J. Cherryh.  ☼☼☼.  Human first contact with aliens from the perspective of the aliens.  I really appreciated getting to watch from that perspective.  All too often the human is the main character in this situation, and he serves as the audience stand-in and spends most of the time confusedly asking tiresome questions and making condescending observations about how savage the aliens are, etc, etc.

However, as it is told from the alien’s view, certain things are not explained to us because the aliens take the knowledge for grated.  This is the difference between, say, writing “She opened the door,” and “She grasped the round doorknob, turning it until the latch retracted and allowed the door to swing freely on its hinges.”  The Pride of Chanur takes the former track every time, which means that I didn’t get any good explanations about how the ship’s electronics and propulsion worked.  As a result, the scenes involving the ship were pretty confusing.  That bothered me enough to bump the rating from four stars to three.

Deathless, by Catherynne Valente.  ☼☼☼.  I think Deathless would have made more sense if I’d come to it with a background in Russian folklore and mythology.  As I did not, I was never sure where the story was going (a little of never sure is nice and exciting; a lot of never sure is confusing).  I did like seeing the old stories play out against the background of communist Russia, though.

Redshirts, by John Scalzi.  ☼☼☼☼.  I posted a longer review in a separate entry, but it went down its own rabbit hole.  Which is fitting, I’ll admit, but not particularly helpful.  So, if there is an ideal audience for Redshirts, I’d say that it can be found in the intersection of people who like Star Trek: TOS and people who like Community.  Star Trek, because you’ll recognize the tropes.  Community, because that means that you’ve got a tolerance for meta.

The Serpent Sea, by Martha Wells.  ☼☼☼☼.  I liked it slightly less than I did The Cloud Roads, but not enough that I wouldn’t read any additional sequels.

Starship Troopers, by Robert A. Heinlein.  ☼☼☼.  I listened to it on audiobook, which wasn’t that great.  The main narrator paused in odd places, and occasionally there were clips of someone else reading a sentence or a phrase (which the first narrator messed up and wasn’t around to correct?).

Starship Troopers itself was sprawling.  It opened on a horrible scene, filled with troopers in mechanical suits lobbing ordinance around an alien city.  Objective: cause as much destruction as possible.  The main character quite enjoyed the demolition.

Then the narrative pulled back.  It bogged down in minutiae.  It covered the rank and workings of the military in loving detail.  Occasionally there would be a near-monologue about philosophy or warfare or history (I’m a visual person, so an audiobook was not the best way for me to absorb something that dense).  There wasn’t really a plot—at least, not in a form as I’d recognize it, with rising action and falling action and a character with a driving goal.  I got the sense that war was hell, yes, but only due to fear of injury and death.  Not because any of the characters had reservations about blowing away other sentient creatures. 

I was reminded of why I’m not too keen on reading Heinlein.

However, I do not regret finishing the novel, if only because it allowed me to see how books like Ender’s Game and Old Man’s War built off of these ideas.

Treason’s Shore, by Sherwood Smith.  ☼☼☼☼.  Last book in the Inda series.  Just as good as the others.  I’m going to have to look into her other series, because I’m pretty sure I’ll like those, too.

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, by Jonathan L. Howard.  ☼☼☼☼.  I thought this book would be all flippant humor and wacky, fish-out-of-water set-ups with no underlying substance.  Happily, I was wrong.  There are brilliant flashes of description and deft characterization. 

The setting and the writing style are…bizarre.  There’s a bit of steampunk, some Wild West, a dash of Skullcrusher Mountain, and over it all a patina of those cartoons where some poor lass is strapped to train tracks while a smirking villain in a top hat looks on. 

Also, there’s something inexpressibly endearing about how easily Cabal dishes out sarcasm, yet fails to acknowledge (or realize) when someone else uses it on him.

I’m definitely reading the sequel.

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins.  ☼☼☼☼.  I’m glad I watched the movie first, because I was completely immersed in it.  I sobbed and gasped my way through.  I doubt the novel could have topped that.  However, it did fill in a lot of details that I was missing, so that was nice.

The Hunger Games: the Movie

I typed this up a while ago and kept forgetting to post it.  Now that I’ve read the book and this stuff mostly holds up, I might as well post it.

Relationships

I saw the movie without having first read the book, and I am quite happy that I approached the series in that order.  I have heard from a number of people that the movie is but a pale imitation, so this way I suspect that I will be able to thoroughly enjoy both.

Because…the movie was absolutely amazing.  Many movies feel…oh, say, abridged.  I’m not just talking about ones which are adapted from books and which are quite literally abridged.  Perhaps this is because I am so used to getting my stories in book form, but whatever the structural necessities of a two-hour movie happen to be, the story always feels abbreviated, like an appetizer for a richer, larger meal.

The Hunger Games may have felt slightly rushed, but it nailed the highs and lows and complexities of a much longer work.  I was sucked into the story in a way I thought only happened with books.  I felt anxious for the characters.  I gasped and smiled and cried, and at the end after Mom and I passed around tissues to dry our tears with I turned to my brother and asked him how the movie was.

He said, “It was eh.”

If proof is ever needed that my brother is secretly a robot, here it is.  Also, if you ever needed a reason to watch the movie in the theater, here it is: in the dark, no one can see you cry.

At first, I thought that I was going to type up what I thought about the movie, the impressions I got and the conclusions I came to and the questions I had etc etc.  And then I thought, well, no I shouldn’t, because what if they’re wrong, and I read the book and find that out?  And then I thought again, well, yes I should, because it will be interesting to see whether I’m right, and it wouldn’t be any use talking about this after I’ve read the book because of confirmation bias.

So.  There be spoilers.

I’ll say it once more for improved clarity; THERE BE SPOILERS.

So, one of my big beefs with YA is its approach to romance.  A lot of the time a boy meets a girl or vice versa and their relationship is factious and then the main obstacle is overcome and they like each other because they’ve gotten over their differences or egos or whatever and then they live happily ever after, or whatever, which seems like a rather shortsighted ending for a book about a couple of teenagers.

THG either subverts or avoids all of those issues.

  1. Katniss and Peeta don’t hate each other.  I thought Katniss hated him at first, but it turns out I was wrong.  I’ll talk about this later.
  2. They get together before the main obstacle is overcome, but that doesn’t mean their personal differences are gone or forgotten.
  3. They don’t live happily ever after however much Peeta might wish so, because Katniss has an old flame which the movie (and Katniss) hasn’t conveniently forgotten about.

At first, I thought Katniss hated Peeta because we kept getting flashbacks of him throwing bread to pigs while Katniss (who obviously needed some food) watched, so I thought he was callus and wasteful.  Then I saw the rest of the flashback, and I realized that she had trying to push him away not because she hated him, but because she was afraid of liking him.  Suddenly, I was able to translate what she meant during her bout of rage after Peeta said he liked her on national TV.  Not, “You’ll make me look weak”, but “You’ll make me weak.”

This also put their vicious one-upmanship argument over dinner into context.  At first, I was confused—why was Katniss so pissed at Peeta for talking about how good she was at archery?  Why did Katniss turn around and start extolling Peeta’s strength as a form of revenge?  Were they supposed to keep quiet about their talents so that no one would know what they were capable of?

This was reasoned on the basis that Katniss dislikes Peeta and that Peeta is willing to do whatever it takes to win (because at this point I still wasn’t sure how honest he had been about liking Katniss—might that declaration have just been a PR thing?).  But by changing the assumptions to Katniss guardedly caring about Peeta and Peeta worshipping the ground that Katniss walks on, the exchange made so much more sense.  Peeta was making sure that the rest of the team knew that Katniss had mad skillz, and Katniss was pissed that Peeta was selling himself short.

And this is why I wasn’t annoyed when they ended up together.  Katniss didn’t want to let herself care about him while he might die at any moment, but when they were given the chance to be a team she flew to his side because she is stronger or…more confident when she has someone to protect.  She’s not that good at acting to safeguard her own wellbeing, but she is very good at doing it to protect someone else’s.

This is never more evident than in the dichotomy between her interviews before and after the game.  Before, she was paralyzed, her face blank.  She wanted to participate enough to keep the government from punishing her family, but she also wanted to be true to herself.  She couldn’t say the things she was thinking for fear of saying something wrong.  She couldn’t make up something charming and inconsequential to say, because that would be fake and also she’s not very good with ingratiating herself with people (and that in itself was refreshing, to have a protagonist without a silver tongue).  Her anxiety was made palpable by the crazy, fuzzed camera angles and the buzzing audio.  The conversation felt disjointed, and her answers seemed to take too long to come.

Contrast this to the after-game interview.  She had a script to follow and an image to project.  Failure could cost Peeta or her family their lives.  She smiled and put on her best act (which, granted, still seemed constrained, but it probably wasn’t any worse than before).  The camera was fixed and distant.  Katniss was less worried about projecting a false impression, and more focused on disseminating the right false one.

Box o’ Mystery Produce Week 3 Final Post

The rainbow chard with basil, pine nuts, and parmesan was pretty good, though I forgot to add the basil and parmesan.  So it was more rainbow chard with garlic and pine nuts (and butter).

That pasta primavera was also a success, though I wish I had used less onion and more zucchini and tomatoes.  I got the tomatoes from a farmer’s market that sets up in a parking lot every Thursday.  They were $4 per pound, but I think it’s worth it because they were proper tomatoes and not the artificially ripened ones from the supermarket.  I mean, I’m hardly a tomato afficionado, but I could definitely notice a positive difference in taste and texture.

I picked up some salad dressings from Wegmans’ (Wegman’s?  Wegmans?) and used them on the lettuce, which worked out well.  I’ll have to try adding more toppings.

Finally, I still had half the zucchini used in the primavera left over, so I made zucchini bread.  I used the recipe from here and the topping recipe one of the commenters mentioned here.  I modified the recipe slightly.  I didn’t want to make two loaves of bread because I didn’t know if I’d like it and also I only have one bread pan.  Halving it required needing 1.5 eggs, so I used two eggs and an extra 1/2 cup of zucchini.  Next time I think I’ll put the strudel in the middle–a lot of it fell off when I took the loaf out of the pan.

As of today, we still have one onion-thing, the golden zucchini, and the sweet potato left.  Haoshu ate the strawberries and I had to toss most of the basil (note to self: look up what makes the leaves turn dark green).

Finally (this has nothing to do with the Box), I made those crackers again.  Last time I used the spelt flour Mom gave me because she didn’t like it.  This time I used regular whole wheat flour, which increased the baking time by about five minutes.  I also added cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg instead of garam masala.  The crackers turned out pretty bland, and I’m still not sure whether it’s because of the change in spices or the flour.